Watchman Is Not A Border Guard

New confessions of Lukashenka on the border.

The spirit of war is still up in the air. Military excitement is especially unbearable in the light of the full moon, on the verge of spring and summer. Between May 9 and June 22. It goes without saying, eternal dates of the past war. In addition, inhabitants of the main bunker have nothing but it.

They say, last week they even had a common prophetic dream. It was probably caused by Victory Day held so strange this year. As if all patriotic mothers wore their five-year old children in soldier's boots and military-type blouses. And waved them goodbuy with handkerchiefs. And children took it seriously. They made a column and moved westwards to meet the enemy.

This vision could be inspired by the weird show the authorities created on the basis of the bloodiest and the most terrible war ever. Is this a decent commemoration of winners to organize marches of adherents to LPR or DPR, and other behemothes of the empire? Do mothers really want to see their babies wearing military boots and epaulets of that war? Does anyone remember what happened to many people then? They have completely forgotten the way popular bloodsucker immediately removed handless and legless soldiers and officers from squares and streets of the country, for them not to remind people of horrors they'd been through.

Everything's great, everything's fine. Girls are dancing so amazing on Victory Square. The war on TV is really cool. How tricky these girls to cheat a stupid enemy, and what a pleasure to see our guys who deliver surgical gun shots! It's necessary to support the military spirit, if dear authorities say that the enemy is at the gate.

Wearing the camouflage the ruler hurries up to check the western borders. It is clear that a legendary border guard Karacup and his incorruptible dog Ingus met such a VIP guest at the outpost. The report was brief and clear: a record number of violators detained over this night, borders are strong. Feel relaxed. In order to calm the population down at this difficult stage, it is ordered to hold the meeting with the personnel in warm and relaxed atmosphere. And it was filmed. Soldiers and officers. Their wives. And, of course, babies with nipples. And also he, the chief in a dynasty of border guards, together with them.

Everyone understood that the moment was about to come when the power shared its secrets with the people. Moreover, the memorable date – June 22 – is just around the corner. That's what happened. And a guiding voice broke the silence.

"Today we already know why, these armed to teeth fascists invaded Belarus in two months or less. It's not because Belarus or its people are bad, but because of muddle. Everyone had his own business. It was not allowed to talk about war not to provoke, and not to offend. There's the result. Everything requires corresponding conclusions not to hurt oneself in future."

Babies took alarm: Are we to blame? What for? Who will hurt us?

Soldiers and officers were waiting for new confessions. Officers' wives smiled trying to soothe terrified babies. And honorary border Guard Karacupa chose to disappear and to continue catching violators with his dog.

And in the opposite part of the country Aunt Agafya, still curious collective farm activist, was carefully listening to confessions to the man in camouflage. Her husband Pakhomych had no interest in such entertainments. Moreover, on that day a mobile store failed to arrive in their prosperous village for some reason, and he had throat irritation by hard adventure.

Meanwhile, the important guest was already telling babies and viewers his own story. He told about his dream to serve as a border guard, but the military registration and enlistment office somehow deprived him from it. He also told about his flying colors at the university, which did not exist then either in Horki or Mahilyou. And the story ended with a sincere confession: "I often think that if I had not been to the border troops and served there, I would not have become the president."

As soon as the sincere monologue was over, Agafya turned to her husband and said: "Do you hear what the ruler says? Border guards are in demand now. If you're not a border guard, do not even dare to dream of a good position! And you served in the outpost. What if you send him documents to try your luck.

Pakhomych only sighed. How he can explain this woman that his Rogozh outpost has nothing to do with the border one. And the shop of hardware goods he used to guard in the 90s is not a military object. And the watchman is not a border guard. And he was fired for drinking at workplace. His drinking companions ratted. Where should he go then?

The man in camouflage with large shoulder straps has already replaced women and babies with journalists of inner circle and told them a bogeyman story about his own assistant caught in a bribe. After listening to these stories, Agafya stood up. The man in camouflage still had time to complain to her that insidious Putin was trying to seize their common victory, but angry viewer indignantly waved: "It's your business!" She turned off the TV and left.

Pakhomych was left alone with his sad thoughts. Is it worth waiting on the mobile store? It was hot. Sleepy flies were irritating. He still had a throat irritation. And all of a sudden he remembered how he put a bottle somewhere in the mud room, when he heard his wife coming.

Pakhomych was lucky. He found it. He managed to squize almost a full glass. After the first sip his throat irritation vanished. After the second sip he felt his life was getting better. And after the third sip he clearly saw the marching column in the twilight. Kids of five years old wearing military-type blouses were walking along a dusty road and jingled with cooking tins.

Pakhomych suddenly recollect. We wanted to say "you walk a wrong way, comrades! The treacherous West is in the other side. Twilight died into dark. The convoy was fading in the darkness. And nothing could be changed.

And naive moms from the festive square were hoping and waiting on their silly children to come back soon from the West. Of course, not defeated. Is there any other option?

They still did not know that Rat-Catchers of Hamelin were worth no trust in. Even if they sing the most charming melody ever. Those who follow them never come back.

Never.

Uladzimir Khalip, specially for Charter97.org