When Looters Return From War

Even the lucky ones will come off the loser.

Strange news has leaked into the news space. Alarming. Unimaginable. And even sensational in a way. It seems that free places in detention facilities of neighbouring and ally Russia have already come to an end. Those very prisons are already 98 per cent full. By any reckoning, it turns out - to the hilt. Perhaps they were too enthusiastic. Tried too hard. Or some other reason. One way or another, but in the end the question is the same: how to live?

To some, the sudden shortage may seem utterly ridiculous. But for Putin's strict regime this is no idle joke, but a full-blown tragedy. If this is not a hoax thrown into the net by restless enemies, there may well be a catastrophic headassery. How could it be that there is suddenly an acute shortage of prison place in a country that was and still is the birthplace of the Gulag? We were building and building them, trying and inventing all sorts of elaborate traps from which even a crafty fly couldn't escape, but in the end we suddenly found ourselves caught in a trap. Where should we lock them up now...?

The prospects are simply apocalyptic. The convoy arrives at the object of preliminary imprisonment of the potential intruder, and there is a crude Soviet inscription on the door of the always hospitable detention facility: "We have no room". What then? To run through neighbourhood yards, to harass private individuals, to look for a reliable storage room with a padlock? As a result, the alternative is simply terrible: to let the poor guy go free. But that would be sheer mockery of the proud and obstinate regime.

However, for all the absurdity of this suspicious information, there is something in it after all. And there is no easy way to get past it. Times are not the same. Enemies are everywhere. They are looking impudently and defiantly out of every crevice. The authorities are doing their best - jailing and jailing. Both on the eastern side and here, long-time allies have gotten off the mark too fast. So the opportunity to take in new captives in the relevant places may naturally have dried up. Besides there is the war, which according to the version of the Commander-in-Chief is still shyly called "special operation," going on. And so the prison places are again in short supply. The chasteners of all kinds are not going to get a break. And then the citizens, excited by the new imperial impulse, have remembered their almost forgotten role in the escalation of the mass arrests. The patriotic enthusiasm in the first military half of the year is so high that they have managed to write a hundred and forty-five thousand denunciations. And this is already a mass mobilization of the mass vigilance of citizens. The enthusiasm of the unforgettable thirty-seventh. The rise of the popular spirit is always great and incomprehensible. But no matter how events develop, the same obscure question arises in the end: where to jail?

It seems that the sudden incident with the lack of available places is not some unfortunate coincidence, but quite a logical pattern. A kind of imbalance and a problem of particular national importance. The deadlock is obvious. And with this background, one cannot fail to notice how quickly and dynamically such issues are being resolved in our flourishing country. Back in December 2010, when the fateful elections were approaching here, the leadership of the country realized that the problem of mass arrests and detentions had to be dealt with urgently. And a way out was immediately found. The prisons and other institutions of the similar type invited craftsmen who made some semblance of bunk beds by using ordinary boards. You push the creative product in and wait for the new inmates in peace. And what problems may the state have here?

Except one - how to cope with overflowing people's initiative? Here the official trade unions organized a traditional event. The Eighth Republican Tourist Gathering. No officialism. Only a competition. Initiative of the masses. Mass creativity. The team of the Belarusian Trade Union of Transport and Communication Workers surpassed everybody in creativity and imagination. It decorated its site at this rally in the style of a prison camp. Pretty cool! Mighty gates, towers with guards, chow-down behind bars. And, of course, the bunk beds. No overcrowding. Isn't that a solution for our eastern neighbours with their weird shortage of beds? So why not take up the idea, set up camp in the middle of nowhere and admire the coils of barbed wire in the twilight? Cheap and cheerful.

And in fact we are sitting pretty on the edge of this war. It's burning somewhere. People are dying. And here, only August is hot. And fearsome sanctions seem to be on the sidelines. Financial flows are no longer the same, but they are not yet drying up. Tourists come in masses from the East. They're happy to be here. Here you can get bank cards. Zara's still open. Even McDonald's is still open! And there are many other small and pleasant surprises. The local realtors have taken advantage of the opportunity the new environment. Creative guys. Traditionally, they offer all sorts of housing. And here the belligerent neighbour was offered to rent not a small house in the woods, but a firing position for launching missiles. A promising deal, it seems. You may even get something in the end. An impressive sum. Or get asshanded. By neighbours nearer and farther away. That depends on your luck.

However, August is coming to an end. The summer is ending. Everything passes. Only the war continues. But sooner or later that will end too. Its participants, angry and tired, will return from the mad campaign. Wounded. Mutilated. Deceived and almost alien. They will return to their abandoned villages and depressed towns. The compensation for all that they have endured will be quickly squandered, spent on alcohol, taken over by all sorts of scum. And even the fortunate looters, who were luckier in that campaign, will come off the loser. The stolen gold will be used for meaningless bribes. A trophy toilet will surely get clogged. And the dog kennel obtained in battles will turn out to be useless, because the beloved doggie died long ago, unattended. And the only things that will stay with them for a long time are anger, annoyance and thirst for vengeance. There is no doubt about it, lots of men will return with guns. No bans or searches on the way will stop the secret flow of military hardware. They will definitely steal something. Saving it for a rainy day.

And one day such a day will come. This has always been the case in Russia after botched wars and sudden upheavals. And when it gets absolutely unbearable, the Aurora, appeared from nowhere, will strike again, with thunderous bang. Or some dashing armoured car with a burring master of rhetoric on its turret will pass by. And everything will start all over again. And the government, be it new or old, will carry on solving the same eternal Russian question.

Where to jail?

Uladzimir Khalip, specially for Charter97.org

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