Playboy for a Lifeguard

Belarusian businessmen can expect more than just fireworks.

The state is so happy that it wants to celebrate something, be it Minsk Liberation Day or Felix Dzerzhinsky's birthday. Now it is actively preparing for the day of the liberation of Minsk, which by some long-standing referendum accidentally became known as Independence Day.

The state is planning to spend over 600 thousand rubles on fireworks and dancing. It's a pretty big sum. Every time one opens any state propaganda website, Lukashenka invariably calls on the state to economize, live within its means and cut production costs. He tells about difficult conditions. He warns that it will be tough. And against this background - one observes fireworks and dancing for 600 thousand rubles. I thought Minsktrans would be the sponsor of the fireworks - after all the millions it has taken from the political prisoners in courts for allegedly damaging the public transport. It could not only pay for the fireworks but also bring Elton John to the city celebration. No, it turns out that today Minsktrans is not a bank, wisely pocketing the money. In search of a generous sponsor, Minskconcert places requests on the website of public procurement. The sponsor, of course, will come. He will be obliged.

The Center for Artistic Creativity of Children and Youth is much more modest. It has recently had a request for fireworks on Children's Day at the public procurement site for 270 rubles. I think it would have been enough for Lukashenka to have fireworks in Drozdy on July 3 for 270 rubles. We could do without tenders: just take it out of the assistant's wallet and pay for entertainment. The citizens would feel calmer and the celebration for Lukashenka would be more cosy, intimate and small - just like the day itself, which is the Independence Day for him alone and the day of the liberation of Minsk from the Nazis in 1944 for all the other Belarusians.

However, I should not be criticizing all government agencies, should I? There is a wonderful, respectful bid on the public procurement site. The Minsk City Department of Emergency Situations Ministry offers 12,000 rubles for subscriptions to newspapers and magazines. Judging by the date of the bid, it's about a subscription for the second half of the year. Now think: in Belarus, where there are no newspapers or magazines, how is it possible to subscribe for 12,000 rubles? I looked through the subscription catalogue of Belposhta. I tried to calculate how much it would cost to buy all the available editions. It turns out that even if one subscribes to all the editions available, including Vestnik potreboperatsii, Zdravushka, Dosug Pensionera, all the crosswords and Sudoku, and the cheerful newspaper 15 Sutok (I am not to blame; the catalogue just says so about it: "newspaper for fun, relaxation, and relief of fatigue and stress"), this spiritual feast would not even cost 3,000. Guys, where did this magnificent sum come from? Oh yeah, I guess it's not enough for the lifeguards to relieve their fatigue; they need to subscribe to Playboy and Hustler. There's no other way to explain this figure allocated to subscriptions. If you want to take part - hurry up, the deadline is June 9. You will learn what do city lifeguards subscribe to at 12 thousand rubles?

It's no secret who is to pay for all. We're not serious about purchases and tenders here, are we? This is just a smokescreen, a hastily stitched-up scenery. In reality, whoever is ordered to pay for the fireworks to entertain Drozdy and Playboy and Zdravushka for the Ministry of Emergency Situations will do it. The remaining businessmen in the country, rare as the hair on a comb, can already pull out their wallets. The experience of previous businessmen shows that the best place for emptying purses for state pleasures is the KGB pre-trial detention center. Any survivor will tell you about this - from Prokopenya to Chizh. But Chizh won't: he's still in jail somewhere. He may be in the KGB pre-trial detention center or under house arrest. However, he is still there. He probably curses the day he foolishly joined Lukashenka when picking potatoes. He may ask the Ministry for Emergency Situations, since it's so rich, to pay for Chizh's subscription "15 Sutok" newspaper for him to have fun, relax, and relieve fatigue and stress.

Iryna Khalip, specially for Charter97.org

If you like this article, you can support the website Charter97.org

MULTI-CURRENCY ACCOUNT FOR ASSISTANCE:

Bank's name: Bank Millennium S.A.
Address: ul. Stanislawa Zaryna, 2A, 02-593, Warszawa
IBAN: PL 97 1160 2202 0000 0002 1671 1123
SWIFT: BIGBPLPW
Name of the account holder: Fundacja “KARTA ‘97”
Purpose/title of payment: Donation for statuary aims

You can contact us by the e-mail [email protected]