Massandra Museum Won’t Be Opened

The Belarusian protest is a global brand.

Massandra has not become Massandra at all under the influence of "Massandra", contrary to the belief of many. It was just born this way. Three years ago, she was asserting with a happy smile on her face that dictatorship was the Belarusian brand. She must have thought that she uttered something witty and even aphoristic.

However, it was not new. Lukashenka's administration has always hired only those who were a real massandra. They have been trying to implant this delusional idea - that dictatorship can be an international brand - into the heads of every person they meet, whether they are Lukashenka, a deputy, an official, a journalist, or a passer-by. Everybody was waiting for the quantity to become quality, and the whole world would finally say, "Oh, Belarus! A great dictatorship, premium class, luxury segment. Excellent cut, competent marketing, limited edition collection". And massandras wondered why the world was silent.

In the nineties, Lukashenka had an assistant Sergei Posokhov. He was an absolutely Massandra-quality man. In 1996, when the country went through two very unfortunate events - the beating of participants of Charnobylski Shliah and the referendum that annihilated the parliament - Posokhov told journalists that no one in the world knew what Belarus was, and everyone thought it was some piece of Russia, but thanks to Lukashenka and things he did people abroad were gradually recognizing Belarus, and it finally appeared in the world news not only because of the Chernobyl accident. Shortly afterwards, new dispersals of rallies and arrests of journalists began, so all of them have been engaged in massandra branding for many years in a row.

The only problem is that dictatorship cannot become a brand. Even if it could, Lukashenka would have nothing to do in this segment of the market in comparison with Dzhugashvili and Adolf Aloisievich. He would fail anyway (as in the story about the idiot contest, where he would be second). All attempts to create more modest, but peaceful brands fell apart. All the time something trivial, clumsy and artless appeared: the Slavic Bazaar, Dozhinki, the Belka space satellite that went down right on takeoff. Well, one can't sell such goods even at the abandoned railway station. It's a shame. Bacon and red eye are better. They even hired western PR heavyweights like Lord Bell, paid a lot of money and still, the result was nothing, emptiness, a bunch of lay figures that no matter what you do to them, they will not become a brand, even if you put them on the bean can on the picture by Andy Warhol.

But last summer Belarus unexpectedly began to create brands that instantly became recognizable and popular in the world. The white-red-white flag. White clothes. Lines to the signature collection points and coffee shops and stores damaged by Karpenkov and Balaba. Couplings. "Long Live Belarus!", "Basta!", "Get out!". Women with red and white umbrellas. The Free Chorus, materializing out of nowhere and instantly disappearing. Flying partisan actions. Huge flags floating in the air. Backyard concerts. Columns of thousands. Songs of resistance. Now the whole world knows Mury. Not the Spanish original, not the Polish version, not Walls Will Crumble in Russian, but our Mury as translated by Andrei Hadanovich. The U.S., Europe, and Australia sing Three Turtles. The Far East is chanting "There's no place for dictatorship from Khabarovsk to Brest!" because Khabarovsk residents understand that the Belarusian protest is a brand and should be taken as an example.

Moreover, if the Belarusian protest is a brand, the resistance to the dictatorship has already become a global trend, while the Belarusians themselves are a source of inspiration. By the way, ten years ago, it was after December 19 and our mass protests when the Arab Spring began. Three dictatorships were overthrown within a few months. And now, after the Belarusian wave, there were protests in Cuba, Tunisia, and Hong Kong. We are inspiring the whole world: some to resist, some to help, some to make tough decisions. No dodgy PR lords, no budgets, no brainstorming. Only conscience, courage and solidarity.

And what will happen to all this massandra stuff? They tried too, spent a lot of money, tried to use their brain to make Belarus recognizable in the world context. One should open a museum of the collective farm dictatorship, shouldn't one? To open it somewhere near Shklou, and send them all as exhibits? However, not a single tourist would like to go there. And these massandra-minded people will become a burden of the state budget again. It's worth space, no thanks. It is better to build something useful in this place, a cowshed, for example. And all fans of Massandra wine should help farmers. Let them be useful at least once in their lives.

Iryna Khalip, especially for Charter97.org