The Leadership Chair In The Hovering Mode

He flew away.

No, it's different. He just made himself comfortable in his cabin. Experienced pilots got off the ground and held the exact course for the middle of nowhere. This is the tradition. No one should know where the mobile chair of the highest authority will suddenly stay to inspect the collective farm fields and identify some shortcomings. It's the plan. Because we are the only ones who call the harvesting the battle for the harvest.

Amazed neighbours from restless and jealous countries keep a close eye on our achievements and unsuccessfully try to understand the essence of the local phenomenon. The word "battle" is too succinct and meaningful. And there is a reason why the first person of this mysterious power watches the sky above the fields in summer days. No doubt, there is a secret meaning. It's an incomprehensible mystery. But it is still unsolvable.

There are rumours that the head of not poor and very ambitious Western country tried to test the experience of a creative ruler, who once made his way to her with a bunch of yellow flowers to express his respect.

But that experience was formal and had many mistakes. First of all, the local leadership did not feel anxiety, agonizing suspense and anticipation of imminent disaster. Also, she did not order a helicopter. She thought a car was enough. She spent long hours trying to understand the meaning of the catch phrase "We will be with bread!" and she failed with it.

When she met a farmer in the fields, she asked: "Will there be enough sausages and cabbage for the coming Oktoberfest?" The puzzled farmer got lost somewhere in his fields without even slowing down the tractor speed. A faint echo tried to repeat "Natürlich!" But for some reason, it got confused and went silent.

But our contact of power and people is comprehended and monumental. The departure usually comes after the meeting. Heads, deputy heads and other responsible persons are seeking guiding glance. They report with anxiety that the first million has already been harvested. Everything is clear. Any accidental reservation or unintentional pause may cause a flame of anger or even dismissal. One step aside and everyone knows what comes next.

How much harvest is expected in our prosperous country this year? The ruler answered this question briefly and uncompromisingly at this meeting. "All available reserves should be involved. We must harvest 9.5 million tons of rapeseed, corns, cereals, buckwheat and millet. This is the minimum!"!

Who would dare to harvest less?

The subordinates have learned this rule long ago. Looking at maps, they are naive to guess at what specific point the helicopter may appear. No one can remember when the highest authorities have longed for sudden stops. It may suddenly appear over the fields. He is looking for something. And then he gives his officials a hard lesson.

However, this time the strategy has been changed. The ruler said he would visit the Homel region. "Shortly I will be there. Be ready!" The authorities got the signal. And now the big wheat head is shot in close-up. It's the moment of history. The governor appears. He tears off this wheat head and begins to slowly rub it. It's a Soviet ritual familiar to all. Comrade Stalin once did the same as well as Nikita Khrushchev and Leonid Ilyich. And even the weak Konstantin Chernenko imitated diligently the sacral process.

So can the ruler and heir of that system ignore the ritual? The local superiors stood at a distance. It was an alarming but precious moment of waiting. How else could officials of different ranks know when to start the harvest, if there was no leader's chair in the July sky above the country?

The local leadership prepared carefully for the event. There were harvesters lined up at the edge of the field. Gomselmash produced them. Intruders have persuaded top management to sell this treasure. But the wise ruler did not let the affair take place. And here it is, this line of harvesters. A marvel of engineering. They use gas instead of fuel. It's a Chinese know-how. But what is the difference if we are on one side?

The harvesters were waiting. An order was given and they moved. It was like tanks coming into battle. Only the ruler stayed in place. He did not hurry, as before, to follow them trying to overtake, watching the battlefield. As if he saved himself. Perhaps, he had a premonition of the elections. Or he hurried to check again his new helicopter. A mobile chair is produced in Italy and has all sorts of frills. It will not let the leadership down.

The planned trip had a result. Last Sunday, the official television reported: two and a half million tons of grain was harvested. Who could doubt it? Smart village people have long noticed: if the blue helicopter of the ruler hovered over the field - we will have bread! Why else would he fly and waste fuel?

Once Nikita Sergeyevich, visiting the United States, simply and clearly explained Iowa farmers why the Soviet system of agriculture was better than the American one. They should have understood and supported the avant-garde idea. Many problems of civilization might have been solved then. The era of satiety and prosperity would have come to our fragile world. And who knows, there might be a chain of leadership chairs hovering over the planet. And every ruler would see and know first-hand all the problems of agriculture in his prosperous country.

And they would send each other an appetizing bagel of recently ground flour. But it failed. And the last keeper of the collective farm idea remains alone. The world stagnation was not overcome.

You know, kind of hard to tell a little bit by the glare!

Uladzimir Khalip, especially for Charter97.org

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